Public Toilets

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."

After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"

The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some idiot in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

Fix the Outhouse Paw (Mayor of Putridville)

Maw is outside hangin' up the laundry, when she hears Paw in the kitchen.

Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out there and fix that there outhouse."

Paw says, "All right, Maw."

Paw walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"

Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole."

Paw says "I ain't puttin my head in that there hole!"

Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to if'n you're gonna fix the problem!"

Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit mind ya) and he hollers, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"

Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."

Paw goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck in the cracks in the seat!"

Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"

Country Dunnies (Mayor of Jotown)

These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one
lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push
over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous
direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse
over on one side and headed for the woods. They circled round
and returned home an hour later from a completely different
direction thus, trying to divert suspicion from themselves.
Upon returning, their father approached them with switch in
hand and bellowed, "Did you two push the outhouse over this
afternoon?"
The older boy replied, "As learned in school, I cannot tell a lie.
Yes, Father, we pushed over the outhouse this afternoon."
At this revalation, the farmer proceeded to flail the two boys
severely and sent them to bed without supper.
In the morning, the two boys meekly approached the breakfast
table and took their seats. Everything was quiet until their
father finally said, "Have you two learned your lesson?"
"Sure, Dad!" said the big brother, "But, in school we learned
that George Washington admitted to HIS father that he'd
chopped down a cherry tree and he was forgiven because he
told the truth."
"Ah yes!' said the farmer, "BUT, George's DAD, wasn't in the
cherry tree when he chopped it down!!!"