NEW EXERCISE PROGRAM
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at
each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your
sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute
and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Next, try 50-lb potato bags. Eventually, try to get to where you can lift a
100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a
full minute.
(I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
Showing posts with label Diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diet. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Welcome to Heaven.
An 85 year old couple, died in a car crash.
This ended a happy marriage of nearly 65 years.
Both had maintained good health throughout their years, and particularly in later life because of her passion for healthy food, and regular exercise.
They reached the pearly gates together.
St. Peter welcomed them in, and escorted them personally to their new home.
A beautiful but simple mansion, set in easily maintained gardens and a view overlooking the sea in one direction and snow topped mountains in the other.
There was a Chef's kitchen, already stocked with every appliance the woman had ever wanted.
A huge king sized bed stood centrally in the bedroom and a luxurious ensuite with jacuzzi and every perfume, bubble bath ever created was available for use.
They were over-awed. Eventually, when the gentleman caught his breath he asked St Peter what this was going to cost.
St Peter replied, "It's all free, this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the grounds and for the husband, the championship golf course directly behind.
Apparently the home came with daily golfing access priveledges and the course itself updated regularly to replicate famous Earthly courses to avoid any tedium and the need to travel.
Again the rather sceptical old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
St Peter again replied, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!You earned the right to all of this during your lives on Earth" St Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St Peter explained, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.
St Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
This ended a happy marriage of nearly 65 years.
Both had maintained good health throughout their years, and particularly in later life because of her passion for healthy food, and regular exercise.
They reached the pearly gates together.
St. Peter welcomed them in, and escorted them personally to their new home.
A beautiful but simple mansion, set in easily maintained gardens and a view overlooking the sea in one direction and snow topped mountains in the other.
There was a Chef's kitchen, already stocked with every appliance the woman had ever wanted.
A huge king sized bed stood centrally in the bedroom and a luxurious ensuite with jacuzzi and every perfume, bubble bath ever created was available for use.
They were over-awed. Eventually, when the gentleman caught his breath he asked St Peter what this was going to cost.
St Peter replied, "It's all free, this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the grounds and for the husband, the championship golf course directly behind.
Apparently the home came with daily golfing access priveledges and the course itself updated regularly to replicate famous Earthly courses to avoid any tedium and the need to travel.
Again the rather sceptical old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
St Peter again replied, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!You earned the right to all of this during your lives on Earth" St Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St Peter explained, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.
St Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity (for yourself and those around you)
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Work Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The A.T.M., Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13.. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Work Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The A.T.M., Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13.. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Diets and Dying
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than British, Australians or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than British, Australians or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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