The Piano Player (Mayor of Camorr)

One evening this drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and happens to notice a 12" tall man standing on the bar.
Astonished, the man asks the guy next to him; "What the hell is that?"
The guy next to him replies "He's a pianist!"
The drunk replied, "You're pulling my leg."
So the guy next to him picks up the 12" man, grabs some books, and props the little man up to the piano. Sure enough, this little man started hammering out all the favorite tunes of the bars' patrons.
Stunned, the drunk asks "That little guy is cool, where the hell did you get him?"
The guy told the drunk how he had found a genie bottle out in the alley, rubbed it until a genie appeared, and was granted one wish.
The drunk runs out the back door, finds the bottle, and starts rubbing it: when all of a sudden a genie pops out and grants him one wish.
In a slur, the drunk asks, "I wish for a million bucks". All of a sudden, the sky turns black and overhead a million ducks come flying overhead shitting all over him.
Angrily, the drunk runs back inside, slams the door and begins cursing, "You son of a bitch, I found that genie bottle and wished for a million bucks, and all of a sudden there are a million ducks shitting all over my new suit!"
The guy started laughing and said, "You don't really think I wished for a 12" pianist, do you?"

Just one wish (mayor of Jotown)

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up & rubbed it, & lo & behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, " Nope, sorry. Three-wish genies are a myth. Most of us are just single types. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other. It will bring about world peace & harmony.

The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed: "Lady, be reasonable! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm, out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I'm good but not THAT good! Don't think it can be done. Make another wish & please make it a bit more reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute & said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is great in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful...and handsome. That's what I wish for....a good man I can marry and make my mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said "Show me the damn map again!"

Me first...

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.