Joanne and Jack

The Global Financial Crisis was biting hard at the business where Mr. Smith was the proud president. He was going to have to start laying off some of his staff. He called in the vice-president Dave, to his office to discuss where the cuts could be made. After a long discussion it was decided that they could manage a while longer if they lost just one of the staff. Either Jack or Joanne will have to go"
Dave frowned, " But Joanne is my best worker, and Jack has a wife and three kids.How can I choose which to fire." Dave decided that he would wait til the morning and decide then. Perhaps the decision would be easier then.
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive.
Joanne was the first to clock on and Dave took her aside ,
"Joanne, I'm sorry, I've got a problem. You know we have been struggling with reduced sales recently, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"
Joanne replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought..
Well, that's marriage for you,

But the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said,
'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'
We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'

She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bed room and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...



On the couch...



Naked.