New Zealand Shoppers

Two Kiwis, Trevor and Jeanette, are walking down a street in Bondi.
Trevor happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 per pair'

Trevor says to his pal, ' Jeanette, look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and whin we get beck to InZid, we could make a fortune.

Now whin we go unto the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just lit me do all the talking cause uf they hear our accint, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my bist Aussie accint.'

'No worries, smiled Jeanette, I'll keep my mouth shut.'

They go in and Trevor says, 'I'll take fufty suits et $10.00 each, 100 shirts et $4.00 each, and fufty pairs of trousers et $5.00 each. I'll beck up my truck and...'

The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from New Zealand, aren't you?'

'Well... Yis,' says a surprised Trevor. 'How the hill dud you know thet?'

The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners'.

Talking Australian clock (mayor of Pie Corner)

The big maori was proudly showing off his new apartment to some friends after a hard night out drinking.
He had a few too many drinks, and was getting pretty vocal.
They reached the bedroom where the friends were surprised to see a huge gong hanging next to the bed.
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' the maori replied.
'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'
'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'
'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.
'Just watch' he said.
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.
His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, an Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed,
'For f*#k's sake, you stupid pri*#. It's ten past three in the f*#king morning !!!'