A LITTLE RIB

Little Johnny goes to Sunday school every week, and he listens carefully to the teacher.
Being "Little Johnny", he always has lots of questions about what he has heard, and they keep his parents occupied for most of the following week with explanations.
This week the teacher had focussed on Genesis. The creation of God's wonders on Earth. This included the creation of human kind.
Little Johnny was especially taken on the story of the creation of Eve from the rib of Adam.
As you may well imagine, this generated a whole new set of questions for the long suffering parents.
After a particularly active afternoon in the backyard Mrs Johnny's Mother noticed Johnny lying on the ground clutching his side and in obvious pain.
She rushed outside and picked him up asking whatever was wrong.
Little Johnny looked up with tears in his eyes. " OWWWWW . Oh Mum.. I've gotta awful pain in here. (Indicating his side). D'ya think I'm gunna have a wife!"

Magic Mirror (courtesy Mayor of Putridville)

There is a blonde, a brunette and red head, they hear about this mirror in the girls’ bathroom at this restaurant that grants wishes.

You get one wish, but only if you tell the truth, or you go to hell.

So the brunette walks in and says, "I think I am the richest girl, in the world" *poof* she disappears.

So the red head tries, she says, "I think I’m the prettiest girl in the world" *poof* she disappears.

So the blonde goes up and says "I think...." *poof* she disappears.

Models in an aircrash disaster

Three gorgeous models, One Blonde, One Brunette, and One Redhead are travelling first class to a conference in Paris.
Suddenly the Captain of the plane emerges from the cockpit and announces: "Please prepare for an emergency crash landing. Damage occurred in the patch of turbulence we just passed through, and we have lost power to all engines - please assume the brace position immediately!"
The stewards will help you with any questions you have and direct you with the required procedures.
(Remember, we are dealing with dipsy models here).
The three young women look at each other and start preparing for the worst.
The Blonde quickly pulls out some lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face up. Bewildered, The Air Steward asks: "What in the hell are you doing? There is no time to fix up your make-up-we are about to crash!" The Blonde responds: “Well I know for a fact that the rescue workers will look for, and rescue first, the best looking survivors—this is why I am putting on my make-up.”
Immediately The Redhead rips open her blouse to expose her breasts which inexplicably defy the law of gravity.
”OMG” shouts the steward: “Have you lost your mind?? We are about to die!”
The Redhead responds: “I have it on good authority that in plane crashes, the rescue workers look for, and save the women with big beautiful breasts first—this is why I am exposing my Breasts!”
Not to be outdone, The Brunette pulls down her skirt and panties to expose her female “love triangle.”
Now totally at a loss and freaking out, the poor steward shouts: “ Are your f……g crazy?? Why are you exposing your snatch for everyone to see??”
Calmly, The Brunette responds: ", PUULLEEEEASE!
I know for a fact that the first thing the rescue workers always look for in plane crashes is the black box!!"

Blonde on a desert Island (Mayor of Putridville)

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.

The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore.
So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired.
She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it.
I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve."

So she attempts to swim out.
The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired.
After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too."
So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island.

The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!"

So she swam back.